So yeahh , im back . (: huhu . My stay there was kind of great i guess . Nothing much happen . Its just my usual life there.. Just that i have two naughty but cutehandsome lil cuzzy to look after . Hmm . Btw, despite having to look after them , me and mami did went to KK for my scan . There was a lot of people there and as usual . I got a lot of stares from them like i've came from outer space and i look like some sort of alien . i've expected to get those reaction but its just that everytime, it never fails to make me feel so akward , out of place and i gotta admit , kind of ashamed . :/ I wonder what they're thinking when they gave me those stares . Maybe they think that im disgraceful , disgusting and all sorts of criticism . I just hate my life when i start to think of all this negative stuff . It just make me feel so low . Haizz . Yes , i regret it and yes , i've learn from my mistake . Now , i really wanna move forward and start a new life , new beginning and make myself better .

So stop thinking negatively Sarah . You gotta be strong . Fcuk what people think . Its ur life , not theirs . And what they think DOES NOT matter . Smile and chins up . (: hehe .

ahh , layankan jer laa ehy . :D

Well , the scan didn't went that smoothly . Cause my lil boy maluu , didn't show his face and they couldn't see his heart clearly as he was facing down . But cute . The doctor was like , " ohh , come on . turn . " *shake my stomach a bit* then she say , "Ahh , u see . Now he's throwing something at me . But still he don't want to turn ." haha . (: so i had to walk for 15 mins in hope that he turns and had to wait for another doctor for a very long time . pffft . After the doctor say yes , gave the report , me and mami left . And believe it , we were the last . =_=' Love , i wish u were here to witness everything , then everything will be perfect . Cause every appt. seems so incomplete without u . haizz . wat to do ? u bace jer laa aper i type kay and imagine u were there . (: Please just don't feel bad . Its not entirely ur fault that things turn out this way . okay ? I love you bhy .

And ohh , maybe next appt. Beylo accompany me . He's such a sweet friend to have you know . He told me he wants to be there to hold my hand and be there for me when im in pain of giving birth cause mami say she don't want to go in with me as she can't bear to see me in pain . Sweet right Beylo? i know . but well ,its just not gonna be the same cause firstly , he's not the father and secondly he's not the one i love or my family . i badly want Muhd Zhafri or mami to be there to hold my hand instead . ): bt these two choices seems impossible . haizz .