MUHD ZHAFRI 'S ❤

Sunday, February 12, 2012 ?

Title:Outing to Sentosa (:
Time:10:12 PM

Dear bloggy ,

I just got home from sentosa outing with mami , adeq , beylo and Ikell . (Only love was missing . haizz) Been such a long time since i met my brother . Its good to see him again . So around 12+ , me and mami took bus to sentosa and took the tram to Beach Station . Walao , damn the stupid foreigners man . Idk why in the hell they are rushing to get down from the tram . One women push me at my stomach . I was so pissed off . I saw her looking at my bulging belly but still she pushed it ! Only God knows how angry i was . Arggh ! So , met them at the 7e and we headed to Pahlawan Beach . Had lots of laughter and catching up . Reached the beach , changed and sat to eat for awhile . Mami and Beylo went into the pool first while me and Ikell continue eating . Adeq-beradeq cam anak jin lapar ! haha . Then we joined them in the water . Swam till 3+ and we took a rest . Eat again , play card and talk2 . The sun was scorching hot man ! The weather was only nice when we were about to leave . Hmmph . So left the place at around 6+ . TOok tram to Vivo and said our goodbyes there since they were taking the train and me and mami are taking the bus . So now im currently at uncle milhan's house . :)

This is for you babylove :
Bhy , im seriously afraid of what the future might brings .
Im afraid that u will NEVER change . Not that i don't trust that u will .
Haizz . Here and there people are saying u will never change .
They say once u are out , surely , confirm , double confirm , u will find those things again .
They say , confirm cari tu bende dulu bru cari i .
Gosh , imagine how those sentence make me feel ?
These people who say this are all those close to u . The one who have known u for years ,u know .
And something tells me that maybe , just maybe . They are right .
And im afraid YOU will prove it right too . :/
I pray and pray everyday that pintu hati u terbuka untok berubah . Insyaallah bhy .
But i tkot , btol2 takot u tk akan . And if u don't change , u know what will happen right ?
I will surely leave . ABSOLUTELY NO ME AND UR LIL BOY In ur life . No
matter how much i love u , i will do it hunn . For our future , mine and lil boy .
Haizz . Sometimes ii think about all those things u did to me in the past , i wonder ..
What do i mean to u ? ANd i don't think u love me enough . Once , u chose that thing
over me . Why couldn't u do it twice now right? What makes me think u won't choose
that thing over our lil boy ? when dulu , u can do that when u say u love me !
Well babyboy , one question .
Is ur love true enough ? If it if true enough , why didn't u stop ?
):

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Thursday, February 9, 2012 ?

Title:
Time:6:51 PM

hello

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Monday, February 6, 2012 ?

Title:(:
Time:11:11 PM

Hey .

Firstly , i wanna say syukur alhamdullillah for the food papa send . Really , thank god . Its like my prayer had been answered . Cause just before i went to sleep yesterday , i was thinking of all the good food and prayed i'll get to eat those food again soon since im having financial difficulties now . And taaadaah! Today morning , papa came and send chicken ricee + mangoes . Isn't that great ? hehe . Couldn't say how thankful i was . (:

So yeah . Woke up at 11am today . Did the laundry and other chores since i got nothing to do . =_=' well , almost everyday i've got nothing to do . Sian .

Btw , mummy have been sick these past few days . She's been dozing in and out of sleep . haizz . pity her . Hope she get well soon . (: But despite being sick , my dear mum had just left the house just now . She went to sleepover at cck . So im all alone ... AGAIN . :\ wanted to tag along but due to my condition .. forget it . Gosh . Gotta bear with it for another few months..

Hmm , so valentine's day is coming up..

Confirm all the love birds out there are very excited . haha . jealous laa ! Guess im just unlucky . Can't celebrate valentine's day with him . Jangan ckp valentine's day only . His birthday , countdown and our 2nd Anniversary also tak dpt celebrate . but what to do ?

Its okay . Valentine's day isn't only for lovers what . Its a day to celebrate with ur love ones . annd sooo that means , i can celebrate with my mum and lil sissy ! hehe . (:

Now , i've run out of words. im soo gonna sleep in early today cause theres NOTHINg for me to do anymore . and yes, im trying hard to keep myself from going insane !

TATA !

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Thursday, February 2, 2012 ?

Title:hmmm :/
Time:12:19 AM

So yeahh , im back . (: huhu . My stay there was kind of great i guess . Nothing much happen . Its just my usual life there.. Just that i have two naughty but cutehandsome lil cuzzy to look after . Hmm . Btw, despite having to look after them , me and mami did went to KK for my scan . There was a lot of people there and as usual . I got a lot of stares from them like i've came from outer space and i look like some sort of alien . i've expected to get those reaction but its just that everytime, it never fails to make me feel so akward , out of place and i gotta admit , kind of ashamed . :/ I wonder what they're thinking when they gave me those stares . Maybe they think that im disgraceful , disgusting and all sorts of criticism . I just hate my life when i start to think of all this negative stuff . It just make me feel so low . Haizz . Yes , i regret it and yes , i've learn from my mistake . Now , i really wanna move forward and start a new life , new beginning and make myself better .

So stop thinking negatively Sarah . You gotta be strong . Fcuk what people think . Its ur life , not theirs . And what they think DOES NOT matter . Smile and chins up . (: hehe .

ahh , layankan jer laa ehy . :D

Well , the scan didn't went that smoothly . Cause my lil boy maluu , didn't show his face and they couldn't see his heart clearly as he was facing down . But cute . The doctor was like , " ohh , come on . turn . " *shake my stomach a bit* then she say , "Ahh , u see . Now he's throwing something at me . But still he don't want to turn ." haha . (: so i had to walk for 15 mins in hope that he turns and had to wait for another doctor for a very long time . pffft . After the doctor say yes , gave the report , me and mami left . And believe it , we were the last . =_=' Love , i wish u were here to witness everything , then everything will be perfect . Cause every appt. seems so incomplete without u . haizz . wat to do ? u bace jer laa aper i type kay and imagine u were there . (: Please just don't feel bad . Its not entirely ur fault that things turn out this way . okay ? I love you bhy .

And ohh , maybe next appt. Beylo accompany me . He's such a sweet friend to have you know . He told me he wants to be there to hold my hand and be there for me when im in pain of giving birth cause mami say she don't want to go in with me as she can't bear to see me in pain . Sweet right Beylo? i know . but well ,its just not gonna be the same cause firstly , he's not the father and secondly he's not the one i love or my family . i badly want Muhd Zhafri or mami to be there to hold my hand instead . ): bt these two choices seems impossible . haizz .

Btw , after i give birth , i'll be moving over to lavender . My aunt's house . Gonna be there till the freaking HDB approve for mami to get a house . And about the baby's thing , nak harapkan daddy simon , janji manis jer laa . im buying bit by bit first . Insyaallah everything will be ready when lil boy arrive . (: hehe . Tak sabah oiyy .

HMMph . YAWWWWWWWWN and , im freaking tired already . so im signing off . i need my sleep . goodnite .

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Sunday, January 8, 2012 ?

Title:i miss you ):
Time:8:04 PM

hey ..

Well, im gonna be away for one week . Will be at my aunt's house for one week to takecare of her son . (: so i guess that i won't be updating for awhile .

Btw , went to KKH for first check up on 30th December 11 which is babyboy's birthday ): . It took such a long time . I had to go for a blood test and scanning . For the blood test , damn it was painful ! The nurse stick in the needle and kept moving the needle around as she say she couldn't find my vein . All i feel like doing was slapping her face . cause really , it hurts . and she kept having to poke again and again . Yes , my veins were swollen when i get back home . FREAK ! After that went for my scanning . Best . :D My lil princey gt sharp nose . and yes , he look adorable eventhough couldn't really see his features . :P Oh yeah . Did i mention that me , my mum and lil sissy was like a VIP there with police escorting us? haha . had to do a police report and had to go to CID for statement or wateva shit but didn't go . Instead , we went to grandma's house . haha . So due to we didn't go , Last few days , the CID came to TG to get ourr statement . Thank god , syukur alhamdullillah , that mami didn't want to drop any charge on baby . (: Love u mami ! tehee . so yeah . My upcoming appt. will be on the 12 Jan 12 . Can't wait .

Now , im currently in an emo mood cause i miss love a lot that it hurts . )': Did cry a lil when i open his picture and just starred at it . It did bring back old memories . ohh c'mon sarah . its just a lil matter of time before he's out . must be strong and patient . (: oh ! im so looking forward to the day i'll be seeing him again (((((((((:

so i guess , till here then . im running out of ideas of what to write .

Signing off ,

MRS ZHAFRI(((((((((((:

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Monday, December 26, 2011 ?

Title:Thank God . (:
Time:5:48 PM

Dear bloggy ,

Im currently at daddy's house . Sleptover since yesterday . Had a good talk with daddy and we've been talking about lots of things . (: And thank god , really , thank god . Syukur alhamdulillah , daddy gonna help buy the baby stuff next month . Really hope that everything goes as plan . :D As for mummy , she said if it happens that she's good financially when i give birth , she will help takecare of the baby and my step-daddy didn't say anything bout it . Good he didn't argue like last time . Once again , thank god . hehe . For myself , im doing gooood . Just that now when the baby kicks or move around , it hurts but yeah , a great feeling . Can't blame it though , cause its growing and theres not much space for him in my lil stomach . But hopefully , he can stay in there till he's due date . i don't wanna go into pre-labour cause that means he have to stay in the hospital a lil bit longer than i have to . i don't want that . i want him to go home with me on the day im discharge . hehe . btw , can't wait for the checkup on 30th , just curious what they gonna check . hahah . argggh , praying hard mummy not gonna cancel it AGAIN . hmmph .

And for my stupid , bloody , idiot pig , he gotta stay in there for 6months . )': and thats not included the charge where he didn't turn up for his ns health check . haizz . for that , i just hope that he will only get a warning . i don like the idea of him staying in there longer . if 6months , he's good and if ader programme , maybe he can be released earlier . (: i pray for the best for him . ohhhh , ohh ,ohh . btw , daddy say he don mind if i still wanna marry him after all he have done , never thought daddy would say that . hahah . mami , she allow eventhough she don't like how babyboy turn out to be now But my stepdaddy keep saying whether she want see me marrying a guy like that makes her disapprove . =_=' fcuk . EVERYONE CAN CHANGE LAA DAMMIT ! i don't understand these ppl whose mindset thinks that bad guy won't change . to me , they suck cause i really think otherwise . hmmph ! And baby .. haiya . can't call u that anymore cause gt new real bby . haha . soo, love . iloveyousomuch . Please change . if u won't , im leaving . chey . haha . wateva laaa . imybhy . <3

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Sunday, December 18, 2011 ?

Title:
Time:12:43 AM

Today , woke up at friggin 11am . Like so soooo early cause i slept at 6am . Kind of tired though but didn't went back to bed . Can't cause im used to waking up and not going back to sleep .
So i guess today i bathe more than five times cause i dye my hair red . Still , the colour didn't came out that "WOW" . Sian sia . :/ Pffft . Yes , i did it even though i've been hearing some things about preggy mummy's can't dye their hair . hehe . Now currently at home with only sissy cause mami went out for a wedding dinner . Annd that reminds me that i have to sleep in early today cause of the wedding invitation tmr . guess after i update this thingy ,fb for awhile then im off to lalaland . Lil sissy is already soundly asleep , so that give me some peace to do my things . Hmmm . See that guy in the picture on the left hand side ? Yes, thats my prince charming . Im missing him soo much right now . Been rewinding the recording when he sang the song , 'Dik' . Goshh . It got my tears flowing like a damn spoiled tap . :'( Its already been a month since he had to go but im still not use to not having him around . Well, its just that we used to do everything and go everywhere together , Everyday without fail and when suddenly he had to leave , i feel so lost . Feels like a new kid , in a new world where i have to learn everything i once knew and did with him all over again . i have to learn to do everything , ALONE . haizz . But , thank god , its not gonna be forever eventhough it SEEMS like forever . argggh . Praying that he's coming court , he will get just a light sentence . Amin . i need him with me . At this point of my life . :\ i do .
Alritee , im tired . so guess , till here then . nitenite .

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